Only A Head

Nine months to the day following their wedding, the Coopers had a baby. Unfortunately, it was born without arms or legs, without even a torso. It was just a head. Still, the Coopers loved and cared for their child, spoiling and indulging it. Finally after twenty years, they took a much-needed vacation and whom should they meet on the cruise ship but a European doctor who had recently achieved a medical breakthrough. "I know," he said, "how to attach arms and legs to your child, how to make him whole." The Coopers cut their trip short, rushed home and into the room where the head lay in its crib, and said,
"Honey... Mom and Dad have the most wonderful surprise for you!"
''Noooooo!," shrieked the head, "Not another hat!"

Hellen Keller's Favorite Color

Q: What was Helen Keller's favorite color?
A: Velcro.

Doctor Visit

A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. The Doctor says, "Can you describe the symptoms to me?" The biker replies, "Yes, Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair!"