We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Minor Second

Q: What's the definition of a minor second?

A: Two lead guitarists playing in unison.

Female Guitar Player

Consider the following:

Female guitar player shouting at her boyfriend in a crowded shopping mall: "Don't forget, sweetheart, I need a new G string!"

Guitar Players to Change Lightbulb

Q: How many guitar players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two: One to change the lightbulb, the other to say, "I can do that."

Guitarist and his Gig

Q: What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig?

A: Would you like fries with that?

Sheet Music

Q: How do you get a guitar player to play softer?

A: Give him a sheet of music.