Hidden Pictures

Q: Why can't you see air planes flying above clouds?
A: Because they're in disguise (da skys)

Three Calamities

Three guys are in a Cessna. The first drops a penny out the window. The second drops a pencil and the third a bomb. When the plane lands, the first guy goes to see where the penny landed. He sees a guy swearing and trying to get a penny out of his forehead. The second sees a girl holding her dog who has a pencil through his head. The third guy sees a guy laughing his head off. He asks, "Why are you laughing?" The guy says, "I was cooking on my BBQ when I farted..." "What's so funny about that?" "It blew my neighbor's house apart!"

Story of My Friend

I have a friend who is a pilot on a 747.  I said "Hi Jack."  He shot me.