Light Bulb - Social Workers

Q: How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to remove the bulb from the socket and take it away without checking whether or not there was actually anything wrong with it, one to accuse its owners of mistreating it, one to find somewhere else to screw it in for the next 6 months, and one to eventually bring it back and say it was all done with the light bulb's best interests at heart.

What is an Archaeologist?

Q: What is an archaeologist?
A: Someone who's career is in ruins!

G's Business Lines

Gold's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly
Goldenstern's Rules: 1. Always hire a rich attorney. 2. Never buy from a rich salesman.
Golden Rule Of Arts And Sciences: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
Gordian Maxim: If a string has one end, it has another.
Gordon's First Law: If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.
Gordon's Object Lifespan Theorem: No matter the amount of care given the purchased object, it will fuse/explode/disassemble within three days of warranty expiration.
Gordon's Warranty Law: All warranty clauses expires upon bill payment.