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The best jokes and joke writers!

Answering Machine - Out and About

Thank you for calling, no doubt, As you can guess, we're out. When we get home, We'll call on the phone. Until then, just hang about. 

Answering Machine - Phone Tag

(Gameshow-announcer voice:) Hello, and welcome to Phone Tag! (Cheers in background.) If you'd like to join the game, please leave your name and number at the beep, and we'll try to reach you when you're not around. And thanks once again for playing Phone Tag! 

So Many Jones's

Q: Why are there so many Jones's in the phone book?

A: Because they all have phones.

MacInTalk Answering Machine

(MacIntosh Plus with MacIntalk program:) Hello, it's obvious you have bad timing, because nobody is home. Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible.

Annoying Phone Calls

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

A co-worker of mine fielded phone calls from his Alumni Association every three months for about five years, ostensibly checking to see that his records were up to date, and coincidentally asking if he'd like to donate to the Alumni Association. Once, when checking his records, the employee asked, "Is xxx-xxxx your current phone number?" Seeing his opportunity, he answered no, and made up a new phone number. He hasn't heard from them since.