'Breviated Medicul Dickshunnary!

Adenoids - (n) Space critters whut are keepin' Elvis alive on Pluto
Anesthesia - (n) Rushun princess y'all red 'bout in skool.
Antacid - (n) aloosinagenic drugs uzed by itty bitty bugz.
Bowel - (n) A alfabit letter lyke A, E, I, O, or U or why?
Bronchitis - (n) dinosour frum the plastikseen age; extinked.
Catscan - (v) lukin' fer hookers (don y'all do this)
Cauterize - (v) makin' eye contak with a hooker (berry dangerous)
D & C - (n) Warshingtun; whar the weirdos, purvurts, & kongress type peepul live.
Emema - (n) sumone who ain't never no frend no how
Fester - (n) yer unkles name (mos likelee)
Genital - (n) head of a army, fer sample, Genital Robert E. Lee
Heart - (v) when u cauz pain to some1
Hypodermic - (n) huge, big, fat zoo crittur; mostly live in de woter
Mamogram - (n) short note sent 2 yer ma er other female
Papsmear - (v) when peepul sez veri ugli things bout yer pappy
Recovery - (n) place wear yew fix up yer fernitur 
Rectum - (v) whut happenz when yew drive yer pick up truck
Drunk seizure - (n) Emperore of Rome.
Series - (n) tv continuin show, fer sample, Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.
Testicles - (n) books of the Bible
Tumor - (n) how many beers yew can drink after last call
Urine - (v) xact oppisyte of yerrout

Redneck

Q: How do you circumcise a redneck?
A: You kick his sister in the chin!

Redneck Teaching Sex Ed

Q: Why did the redneck school stop teaching sex ed?
A: They needed the car for driver's ed.