We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

The best jokes and joke writers!

Carrier Marines

Q: Why does the Navy have Marines on aircraft carriers?

A: Sheep are too obvious.

Helo Jump

A young marine talks to his dad about parachute practice. We had to jump out of helicopters" the boy said. His father replies "how scary! And you just... jumped?" The boy shyly, said, "Well, I was very scared, and I just stood there at first." The dad got stern, "And what did the drill sergeant say?" He said, 'If you don't jump this fucking instant, I'm gonna stick my big hairy cock up your little ass." The dad got wide eyed, "Did you jump?" He asked. "Only at first."


The buzzword of this election is "CHANGE." Candidates toss it around without saying what they want to change to. Just that we need CHANGE! This brings to mind the following illustration...

Years ago, there was an old tale in the Marine Corps about a lieutenant who inspected his Marines and told the "Gunny" that they smelled bad. The lieutenant suggested that they change their underwear. The "Gunny" responded, "Aye, aye, sir. I'll see to it immediately." He went into the tent and said, "The lieutenant thinks you guys smell bad, and he wants you to change your underwear. Smith, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowskie, Brown, you change with Schultz..." "Change, now get on with it!"

And the moral is: A candidate may promise change in Washington... but the stink remains!

Marine With an IQ of 160?

Q: What do you call a Marine with an IQ of 160?

A: Platoon

Navy Ships

You know why they put marines on navy ships?

So the sailors have someone to dance with.