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The best jokes and joke writers!

Carrier Marines

Q: Why does the Navy have Marines on aircraft carriers?

A: Sheep are too obvious.

Helo Jump

A young marine talks to his dad about parachute practice. We had to jump out of helicopters" the boy said. His father replies "how scary! And you just... jumped?" The boy shyly, said, "Well, I was very scared, and I just stood there at first." The dad got stern, "And what did the drill sergeant say?" He said, 'If you don't jump this fucking instant, I'm gonna stick my big hairy cock up your little ass." The dad got wide eyed, "Did you jump?" He asked. "Only at first."

Change

The buzzword of this election is "CHANGE." Candidates toss it around without saying what they want to change to. Just that we need CHANGE! This brings to mind the following illustration...

Years ago, there was an old tale in the Marine Corps about a lieutenant who inspected his Marines and told the "Gunny" that they smelled bad. The lieutenant suggested that they change their underwear. The "Gunny" responded, "Aye, aye, sir. I'll see to it immediately." He went into the tent and said, "The lieutenant thinks you guys smell bad, and he wants you to change your underwear. Smith, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowskie, Brown, you change with Schultz..." "Change, now get on with it!"

And the moral is: A candidate may promise change in Washington... but the stink remains!

Marine With an IQ of 160?

Q: What do you call a Marine with an IQ of 160?

A: Platoon

Navy Ships

You know why they put marines on navy ships?

So the sailors have someone to dance with.