Military Jokes - Army Jokes

An Army recruiter delivered a windy pep talk to encourage a group of college students to join the VOLAR. But the culminating point of his oration was greeted with cat calls, whistles and projection of rotten eggs and an assortment of no less rotten vegetables and fruits. A visitor asked a student: "Why you throw tomatoes at the man and now you are applauding him?" "We want an encore. I still have some tomatoes left!" explained the student.

The Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. "Obviously the Air Force knows there's no such thing as a 'perfectly good aircraft,'" the irritated officer finally countered one afternoon, "because they pay you bastards four times as much to stay in one as the Army pays its men to jump." "You've got it all wrong, Major," an Air Force sergeant replied. "The Army figures anyone stupid enough to jump out of an airplane voluntarily is gonna be too dumb to bitch about the salary."

Two young soldiers were exchanging their experiences of the service in the Army. "My sergeants are wonderful," said one soldier. "I wish I could say the same about mine," said the other. "You could if you could lie as I do."

A ranger outfit was having training in mountain climbing. One of the men slipped and began falling into a precipice.

"Are you hurt?" asked another.

"I don't know yet," a weak voice was heard, "I'm still falling!"

Q: Why don't Twitter users make good soldiers?

A: Because they are quick to retweet