Ice - Fishing Blonde

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary "tools" together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!!!!!"
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a Thermos of cappuccino and began to cut another hole in the ice. Again from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!!!!"
The blonde, now quite worried, moved down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole in the ice. The voice came once more, "FOR THE LAST TIME, THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!!!"
She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?"
The voice replied, "NO you idiot!... This is the Ice-Rink Manager."

Elvis and a Smart Blonde

Q:  What's the difference between Elvis and a smart blonde?
A:  Elvis has been sighted.

Blonde History Lesson

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "That's easy," he replied. "You ask them a simple question which everyone should be able to answer with no trouble. If they hesitate, that puts you on the right track." "What sort of question would you ask Doctor?" "Well, you might ask them..." "Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?" The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh - "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you?" "I must confess I don't know much about history." (DOH!)