You Might Be a Redneck If... Collection 39

You might be a redneck if...

• You can chew your own toenails.
• You've ever used an inner-tube patch on your jeans.
• You want the opening day of deer hunting season to be declared a national holiday.
• Someone knocks on your front door and your back door rattles.
• You let goldenrod grow in your yard because it looks so pretty.
• You've ever absent-mindedly nibbled on your live bait... and didn't spit it out.
• Your best Sunday clothes include your John Deere baseball cap.
• You go to a wedding or any formal party and ask someone to pull your finger.
• Your friend tells you he went online last night, and you think he took a drunk driving test.
• Your mama has more tattoos than you do. 

You Might Be a Redneck If... Collection 38

You might be a redneck if...

• A policeman asks for your ID, and you answer, "About what?"
• You wake up with chocolate in your ears after spending the night in a fine hotel.
• Your neighbor spits grass when he talks.
• In the delivery room, your husband says,"That's worse than skinning a deer!"
• You have sworn on your mother's grave while she is standing beside you.
• You refer to your cousin as "my girlfriend."
• You wake up the day after your wedding to find your sister next to you.
• You got your tater gun hangin' over your couch in your living room as a conversation piece.
• You've ever entered yourself in a "Howdy Doody Look-alike" Contest.
• Your lips move while reading a stop sign. 

Redneck - Talking Fish

You might be a Redneck if...
All of your Amazon Echo's are connected to Big Mouth Billy Bass talking fish.