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The best jokes and joke writers!

Military Expenses

  • Starting monthly salary for US Marine... $984.60
  • One Bradley Fighting Vehicle... $3.16 million
  • Humanitarian aid for Iraq... $20 billion
  • Kickin' back with the boys in Saddam's Palace... priceless

Marine Tough

I always say how I joined the Navy but wanted to join the Marines. I just couldn't pass the physical. This usually gets them to start talking about how much tougher they are. Then I say, yeah, just couldn't get my head in the jar.

Marine Confession

A Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional booth in Jacksonville. He tells the priest, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I beat the hell out of an Obama supporter."

The priest says, "My son, I am here to forgive your sins, not to discuss your community service."

Tracks

Three Marines were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first Marine said, "those are deer tracks".  The second Marine said, "No, those are elk tracks".  The third Marine said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks".  The Marines were still arguing when the train hit them.

Enactment of the Marine Corps

Q: Why did congress enact the Marine Corps?

A: So, the sailors would have someone to dance with!