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The best jokes and joke writers!

Ponder This

Q: Why is Neil deGrasse Tyson such a famous physicist?
A: On the day he was born he escaped a black hole.

Buying The Farm...

A city slicker wanted to buy a farm, and he'd found just what he was looking for. During an inspection of the property, however, he found a hive of bees. He told the owner that he was deathly afraid of bees, and there was no way he could consider this piece of land. The landowner assured him that the bees were completely harmless, but the buyer would have no part of it. Finally, the landowner made an offer. The buyer would allow himself to be tied to a tree for an hour, nude, under the nest. So sure of the friendliness of his bees was the farmer that if ONE bee were to sting him, the farm would be his for free. The buyer thought it over and decided it was worth the risk. An hour later, the farmer walked out to the tree and saw the poor guy slumped over in his bindings. Fearing the worst, he ran up to him and asked if he had been stung. The city fella looked up and weakly said, "No... the bees never touched me - but doesn't that calf have a mother!?!"

Elephant Joke

Q: How do you get out of an elephants stomach?

A: Run around until you're pooped out!

Sick Ponies

Q: Where do you take sick ponies?

A: To the horsepital!

Horsing Around

Q: What kind of horse has six legs?

A: One that is being ridden!

Yo Mama - Taxi

Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell "Taxi!"