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The best jokes and joke writers!

Potential and Realistic

A boy asks his dad, “What’s the difference between potential and realistic?” The dad tells him to go ask the rest of his family if they’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then he’d tell him the answer. The boy goes up to his mom and asks her. She responds, “A million dollars is a lot of money sweetheart. I could send you, your sister, and your brother to great colleges, so sure, I would!” He then goes and asks his sister to which she replies, “Brad Pitt? Hell ya, he’s the hottest guy ever!” Next, the boy asks his brother who replies, “A million dollars? Hell yes I would. I’d be rich!” When the boy excitedly returns to his dad with the family’s responses, the dad says, “Well son, potentially, we have three million dollars. Realistically, we have two sluts and a queer.”

New York Yankees

I was walking through Times Square the other day when a black guy came up to me and asked if the Yankees had won... 

...So I said, "Yeah! You're free!!"

No-so-suspicious Disappearance of a Husband

A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer looked at the guy's photograph, questioned her, and then asked if she wanted to give her husband any message if they found him.  "Yes, please," she replied. "Tell him Mother didn't come after all."

Black Christmas

Q: What do black people and Christmas lights have in common?

A: Both hang from a tree they're not too bright and only half of them work.

Quick Lesson

A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. He looks at his mother and says, "Look Momma, I'm a white boy." His mother slaps him hard on the face and says, "Boy, go show your Daddy." The boy goes into the living room and says "Look Daddy, I'm a white boy." His Daddy slaps him on the face too and says, "Boy, go show your grandmother." So the boy goes to see his grandma and says, "Look Granny, I'm a white boy." She slaps him on the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says, "Well, did you learn something from all this?" The boy shakes his head and says, "I sure 'nuff did, I've only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people".

Never Racist

I will never be a racist.

Because racism is a crime and crime is for black people.