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The best jokes and joke writers!

Bad to Worse

What is worse than two girls running with scissors?
Two girls scissoring with the runs.

One Dollar

If I got one dollar every time somebody called me racist ...

black people would rob me


Ebonics 101

Welcome to EBONICS 101

Herein follow a few terms to help you get started on your merry way towards the ve-nak-u-lar...

"Damn- that shit is DOPE!" - That is a wonderful concept/object/action.

"Can't FADE that." - I am unable to comprehend or assimilate that concept at this time.

"Shante ain't havin' it." - This is not something that Shante will allow to occur.

"Homey- Boo was dropping PHAT beats." - Our friend Boo was playing some wonderful music.

"YO!- Let me GAFFLE that BLUNT!" - Might I be able to indulge in your marijuana cigarette?

"JIMMY was on and I was HITTIN' it!" - I had in my possession a condom, which was used in my engagement of sexual activity.

"What's up? Why you ALL UP in my shit!?!" - Please sir/madam- stay out of my affairs.

"She is HELLA' CLOWIN' you HOMEY!" - The woman is creatively informing you that her interest in dating you is non-existent at this time.

"Woooooo- Renaldo was PITCHIN' STRAIGHT GAME to baby-doll, and it was SMOOOOVE!" - Renaldo was creatively inquiring as to the marital status of the female, with the intention of asking her on a date.

"STEP OFF Cool- before I bust PHAT CAPS in your A** with my NEINER..." - It would be beneficial to your physical state to leave this area, as I will soon be encouraged by your disrespect towards me to shoot bullets into your buttocks with my 9mm pistol.

"Why is 5-OH always BUGGIN'!?!" - Why are the police officers always worried?

"Friday night- COLD CHILLIN' with a 40 and a BLUNT." - It is Friday eve, and I am leisurely enjoying a forty ounce bottle of malt liquor and a marijuana cigarette.

Knock Knock - Remember

Bob: "Will you remember me tomorrow?" 

Bill: "Yes"

Bob "Will you remember me next week?" 

Bill  "Yes"

Bob: "Will you remember me next month??"

Bill: "Yes"

Bob: "Will you remember me next year?"

Bill: "Yeah"

Bob: "Knock Knock"

Bill: "Who's There?"

Bob: "See, you forgot me already!"

Jelly Beans

Q: What happens when you stick your hand in a jar of jelly beans?

A: The black one steals your watch.

Never Racist

I will never be a racist.

Because racism is a crime and crime is for black people.