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The best jokes and joke writers!

Doctor's Notes

A man comes into the ER and yells; "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - and I was in the wrong one.

Baby's First Words

A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, "Are you my dad?". The doctor says, "No, I am your doctor!"  With that, the baby pops right back inside. "Damn!", says the doctor. A short while later he sees the head push through again. "Are you my dad?", asks the baby. "No, I am your doctor.", he replies. Once again the baby vanishes back into his mother's womb. The doctor turns to a nurse and says, "Nurse, get that baby's father in here right away--we may have a situation on our hands!"   Moments later the baby's father is in the delivery room, and the baby's head once again pops out. "Are you my dad?", the baby asks of the father. The father replies, "Yes, little baby, I am your father!" The baby then reaches up and begins poking his father in the forehead with his index finger-- "How do you like that?"

Doctor's Birthday

An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday, and gathered lots of friends and family in his house. His wife had made him a surprise cake, and led her husband blindfolded to a table where the cake was placed. Eagerly the doctor removed and looked down on the cake, and immediately burst into a crazed laughter, for there in front of him was a huge cake, with 40 marzipan eyes! The guest, asked him why he laughed, and after some minutes of laughing and whipping his eyes, the doctor said: "I'm just thinking of my buddy who will be 50 next week, who is a gynecologist!"

Tired Gynecologist

Q: What did the gynecologist say to his wife when he got home from work?

A: I'm bushed!

A Hygiene Problem

A woman visits her physician. She enters the doctors' office and sits down. The doctor asks her, "Well, what can I do for you madam?" The patient blushes and the doctor sees that she is embarrassed so he says, "You can discuss any matter with me, everything is strictly confidential." So the patient says, "My husband complains that my pussy smells bad, is there a cure for this?" "Sure", the doctor says, "It can be a fungus, or a little infection, nothing unusual, please undress and lay down, so I can examine you and prescribe a treatment." The woman undresses, gets up the bed and with her legs spread waits until the doctor attends her. He comes in, walks towards here, starts gasping for air, covers his mouth and nose with a hand and runs out of the office. After a minute or so, he enters again, covering his mouth and nose with one hand an a 7 feet wooden stick with an iron hook on it in the other hand. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh, what are you going to do to me?" shouts the patient. "Nothing", says the doctor, "I'm just going to open the roof window and get some fresh air in here."