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The best jokes and joke writers!

The Careful Dentist

There's this woman who goes to the dentist.  As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his balls.  

The dentist says, "Madam, I believe you've got a hold of my privates."

The woman replies, "Yes...  And we're going to be careful not to hurt each other, aren't we!"

Paying the Dentist

As soon as the dentist asked the patient to sit down, he pulled out his wallet. Seeing this the dentist said, "Please don't, you don't need to pay me now". The patient answered: "Pay you! I just want to count my money before I'm unconscious!"

Realizing Your Age

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can't look that old. Well, you'll love this one... 

My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his diploma, which had his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30 odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High school. 'Yes. Yes, I did.' he gleamed with pride. 'When did you graduate?' I asked. He answered, 'In 1967. Why do you ask?' 'You were in my class!' I exclaimed. He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat, gray-haired man asked, 'What did you teach?'

Gas Up

I asked my dentist if I could have some of his laughing gas.

He said, "Sure, knock yourself out."

Female Dentist

I would like to see a woman dentist, says the man to the dental receptionist. "Why?" asks the receptionist. "I'd like to hear a woman say 'open your mouth,' instead of 'shut up."