Profession Jokes - Banker Jokes
New Gym Membership
I called my bank about a suspicious payment for a gym membership. Turns out it was just my Wells Fargo banker looking out for me.
Old Never Dies
Old academics never die, they just lose their faculties.
Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance
Old accounts never die, they are deleted
Old actors never die, they just drop a part
Old alcholics/drug users never die, they just get wasted
Old anthropologists never die, they just become history
Old archers never die, they just bow and quiver
Old architects never die, they just lose their structure
Old assets never die, they just depreciate
Old astronauts never die, they just go to another world
Old atoms never die, they just decay
Old bankers never die, they just lose interest
Old bankers never die, they just want to be a loan
Old baseball players never die, they just go batty
Old baseball players never die, they just run their last lap
At an interview I was told I was too immature to be a bank manager. How rude. And they didn't even speak to either of my sock puppets.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
Mr Greenburg's Signature
Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and started a small business. It did well, and soon he had enough money to send for the wife and children. The work kept him very busy, so he never had time to learn to write, but the bank was happy to do business with him, even though his signature consisted of two X's. He prospered, he opened more stores, the kids were transferred to private schools, the family moved into a fancy house (with one staircase going nowhere just for show)... you get the idea. One day his banker, Mr. Smith, asked him to drop by. "So vat's the problem?" Greenberg asked, a bit anxious. Smith waved a bunch of checks at him. "Perhaps nothing," he said, "but I wanted to be on the safe side. These recent checks of yours are all signed with 3 X's, but your signature of record has just 2." Greenberg looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry about making trouble," he said, "but my vife said that since I'm now such a high class rich guy, I should have a middle name!"