Ford and Golf Ball
Q: What's the difference between a Ford and a golf ball?
A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
New Driver in the Famiy
Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family walked out to the driveway and climbed in the car so he could take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately headed for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.
"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father.
"Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."
One day a little old nun was driving 35 miles an hour down the highway. A cop pulls her over because she was so slow and asked her why she wasn't going faster. She points at a sign by the side of the road that said highway 35 on it, saying she thought that was the speed limit. The cop laughs and tells her that it was highway number 35.
Then looking in the back seat, the cop notices two nuns looking very frightened. He asks them what was wrong and they said, "We just got off highway 130!"
Q: Why did the car stop when it saw a ghost?
A: It had a nervous breakdown!
Excuse For Speeding
A cop pulls a car over on the highway for speeding. When he asks for the driver's license, the driver argued, "Speeding? Officer, I was only trying to keep a safe distance between my car the the car in back of me."