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The best jokes and joke writers!

Answering Machine - Elvis' Brain

Steve is reassembling Elvis' brain and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name... 

Joke for the DJ

A guy calls into a radio station and he says he has a joke for the DJ. The DJ goes, "Alright, let's hear it." The guy goes, "What has a 2 inch penis and hangs down?" The DJ says, "I dunno, what?" The guy says, "A bat. What has a 12 inch penis and hangs up?" The DJ replies, "I dunno, what?" Next thing the DJ hears is a dial tone.

Answering Machine - Winter Wonderland

"Winter Wonderland": Hear the ring, inside our home. Once again, can't get the phone. So please be polite, You know that it's right, And leave a message when you hear the tone.

Answering Machine - Lost Voice

Hello, this is Jason's voice. Jason's not here right now -- hey, haven't you ever lost YOUR voice? Well, believe you me, when I find him again, I'll have a few choice words for him. If you do too, leave them after the beep.

Answering Machine - Space Time Continuum

A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future.