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The best jokes and joke writers!

Blonde's memo to her boss

TO: Boss

FROM: Blondie

RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K

I hope that I haven't misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me. At any rate, I have finished the conversion of all of the months on all of the company calendars for next year. The calendars have returned from the printer and are ready to be distributed with the following new months: Januark, Februark, Mak, Julk

I also changed all the days of each week to: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak We are now Y to K compliant. Have a nice dak!!!

Klingon Lightbulb

Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb ?

A: None, burned out light bulbs have NO honor.  And a true Klingon Warrior is not afraid of the dark!

Texting Trouble

A man received text message from his neighbor:

"Sorry sir, I am using your wife, day and night when you aren't home. I'm confessing this to you because I feel very guilty. I hope you will accept my sincere apology".

The man was so angry he killed his wife.

A few minutes later he received another text message :

"Damn auto correct! Sorry sir, spelling mistake, wi fi - not wife".

Star Wars - One Liners

10. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
9. "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
8. "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
7. "You've got something jammed in here real good."
6. "Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?"
5. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
4. "Sorry about the mess..."
3. "Look at the size of that thing!"
2. "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
1. "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."

Facebook Warning

Internet security company FireEye has identified a potent new computer virus timed to launch on Superbowl Sunday. It's being sent via Facebook as a friend request from The Hormel Food company.  Whatever you do, don't accept the request.

It turns out to be just a lot of Spam.