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The best jokes and joke writers!

Partial Dosage

An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said  "That's no problem. How many do you want?" The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces." The pharmacist said, "That won't do you any good." The elderly gentleman said, "That's alright. I don't need them for sex anymore as I am over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes."

Lizard Woes

Q: What's it called when a chameleon can't change its colors anymore?

A: A reptile dysfunction.

Viagra

I took one of those Viagra tablets the other day, it got stuck in my throat and I had a stiff neck for about eight hours!

Charlie No More

Joe was sitting in his favorite bar having a few beers after work, when a beautiful woman sat down next to him. She looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't quite place her.

"Hi, Joe," she said. "I haven't seen you in a long time."

Joe was puzzled. "Charlie, is that you?" What are you doing dressed up like a woman?"

"Well, Joe. It's a long story, but the bottom line is that I always felt like a woman trapped in a man's body, so I finally decided to do something about it. After a number of operations, I am now a woman."

Joe was initially shocked, but after admiring Charlie's breasts, he said, "Damn, Charlie, I bet it was pretty painful to have those implants put in."

"Yeah, but that wasn't the most painful part."Joe's gaze lowered, and he got a sick feeling in his stomach.

"Oh shit. You mean you had your penis and testicles cut off? I bet that was awful."

"Yes, that was pretty painful, but that wasn't the worst part."

"I don't believe it, Charlie. What could possibly be worse than that?"

"The final operation was the worst. That was when they did a craniotomy and took out half of my brain!"

Viagra

A lady walked into a pharmacy and spoke to the pharmacist. She asked, "Do you have Viagra?" "Yes," he answered. She asked, "Does it really work?" "Yes," he answered. "Can you get it over the counter?" she asked.

"I can if I take two," he answered.