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The best jokes and joke writers!

Finish The Job

An old lady rushed into the police department and claimed she was raped. When asked what the guy looked like, she said she didn't know, only that he was a contractor. When asked how she knew that, she yelled, "All he could say was, 'I'm coming! I'm coming!' and he never finished the job."

Cosby Strike

Q: What do Bill Cosby and Santa Claus have in common?

A: They both come when you're asleep.

God's Gift

I was blessed with a 9-inch penis

Thank God the priest is now in jail.

Nuns Walking Down an Alley

Two nuns are walking down an alley when two guys jump out of the dark. They start raping the nuns and the first nun says, "Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do!" The second one says, "This one does!"

Celebrity Party

When I was 14, I was invited to a celebrity party in Hollywood.

I swear, someone must have slipped something into my drink because after awhile I was definitely feeling Spacey.