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The best jokes and joke writers!

Mouse Rapist

One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being raped by a mouse. Fascinated by what he saw, the man gained the mouse's confidence with some cheese and then took him next door. The mouse repeated his amazing performance by raping a German Sheppard. The man, very excited by this, was dying to show someone his discovery. He rushed home and woke up his wife, but before he could explain, she saw the mouse, screamed, and covered her head with the blanket.

"Don't be afraid, darling," said the man. "Wait until I tell you about this."

"Get out of here!" cried his wife. "And take that sex maniac with you!"

Family Slammer

I almost got raped in jail ... 

My family takes monopoly way too seriously.

Date Creep

Man: To make a woman laugh is the second best method to get her to sleep with you.

Woman: And what is the best method?

Man: Chloroform.

Woman: You are funny!

Man: Good choice.

Sad Sex

I cry every time after sex.

I hate prison.

Oh My

Q: What do prison and the shift key have in common?

A: They both turn your 'o' into an 'O'