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The best jokes and joke writers!

Sex With Teacher

After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher." She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher." The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for. On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts."

First Time

I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night.

I wanted my first time to be special.

Worse than Jack the Ripper

Q: What's worse than being raped by Jack the Ripper?

A: Getting fingered by Captain Hook!

Girlfriend Yells During Sex

I was having sex with my girlfriend the other day and she kept yelling some other guy's name.  Who the heck is Rape?

Restroom

A guy leaves his place at the bar to go have a piss. He comes back about 10 minutes later, sits down at the bar, muttering amd swearing very softly. The barkeep approaches the customer and asks what the problem is.

"Oh some son-uv-a-bitch snuck up behind me while I was at the urinal and put a gun to my head."

"Jesus Christ! What happened?"

"He told me to give him a blow job or he'd blow my brains out!"

"Yeah, then what?"

"Well you didn't hear a gun shot, did you?"