Jesus and Moses Performing
Jesus and Moses are walking along the beach when Moses says, "You know what? I'm going to try and part the ocean again." He throws his hands in the air and, magically, the ocean parts. Jesus sees this and says, "I'm going to try to walk on water again." He walks up to the water, takes a step on top and sinks. Moses says, "Try it again, Jesus. It's been a while." Jesus tries again, and once more, he sinks. Jesus comes out of the water and says, "I know what the problem is. When I walked on water before, I didn't have holes in my feet."
Sunday School Christmas Lesson
A little boy returned from Sunday school with a new perspective on the Christmas story. He had learned all about the Wise Men from the East who brought gifts to the Baby Jesus. He was so excited he could hardly wait to tell his parents. As soon as he arrived home, he immediately began, "I learned all about the very first Christmas in Sunday school today! There wasn't a Santa Claus way back then, so these three skinny guys on camels had to deliver all the toys! And Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with his nose so bright wasn't there yet, so they had to have this big spotlight in the sky to find their way around!"
Pastime for Passover
Paul says to Jesus, "Hey man, whatcha doing for Passover?"
Jesus says, "Just hanging around."
Q: Why is Jesus easy to insult?
A: It takes him 3 days to comeback.
Jesus' Disciples Bring Drugs
Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing the world. In an effort to solve this dilemma, he decided that a few apostles would return to earth and fetch a sample of each drug, so they could understand what these substances did.
Two days after the operation is implemented, the disciples begin to return. Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in each disciple: "Who is it?" "It's Mark," Jesus opens the door. "What did you bring Mark?" "Marijuana from Colombia." "Very well son, come in." Another soft knock is heard. "Who is it?" "It's Matthew," Jesus opens the door. "What did you bring Matthew?" "Cocaine from Bolivia." "Very well son, come in."
At the next knock Jesus asks, "Who is it?" "It's John," Jesus opens the door. "What did you bring John?" "Crack from New York." "Very well son, come in." Someone starts pounding on the door. "Who is it?" "It's Judas," Jesus opens the door. "What did you bring Judas?" "FREEZE! THIS IS THE FBI!"