A zebra dies and goes to heaven. When checking in, he tells St. Peter, "Say, I have always wanted to know if I am white with black stripes or black with white stripes."
St. Peter, "I can't answer that question... but see God walking around over there? Ask him."
Zebra goes to God, "God, am I white with black stripes or black with white stripes?"
God looks at the zebra sagely and states, "You are what you are."
Frustrated, the zebra returns to St. Peter. "What did He say?" asks St. Peter.
"Oh," replies the zebra. "He just said, 'You are what you are,' and I still don't know whether I'm black with white stripes or white with black stripes."
"Oh, that's easy," says St. Peter. "You are white with black stripes."
"How do you know?" asks the zebra. "Well," says St. Peter, "if you were black with white stripes he would have said 'you is what you is.'"
Black and Jewish
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
Q: Why do some people think Jesus is black?
A: Because he's supposed to be our father and never came back.
Chinese and Spielberg
A Chinese man walks into a bar in America late one night and he sees Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get outta here!"
The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor, it was the Japanese!" "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese you're all the same," replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese man gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship." Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me!"
The Chinese man, replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same!"
Q: What's the worst part about being a black Jew?
A: You have to sit in the back of the oven.