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The best jokes and joke writers!

Physician's Opinion Of ObamaCare

Remember when Nancy Pelosi said: “We have to pass it, to find out what’s in it.”

A physician called into a radio show and said: "That's the definition of a stool sample."

That pretty well sums it up!

Hillary's Tough Questions

Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted-student primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is. "Kenneth," he says. "And what is your question, Kenneth?" she asks.

"I have three questions," he says.

"1st -- why didn't you send help to our people in Benghazi?

2nd -- why did you risk our national security by using a non-protected consumer grade email account? Were you hiding something?

3rd -- With your poor health history of fainting & blacking out, how could you possibly handle stressful situations in hot crowded rooms as President?

Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume Hillary says, "Okay, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"

A different boy -- little Johnny -- puts his hand up.

Hillary points to him and asks, "And what is your question?

"I have five questions," he says.

"1st -- why didn't you send help to our people in Benghazi?

2nd -- why did you risk our national security by using a non-protected consumer grade email account? Were you hiding something?

3rd -- With your poor health history of fainting & blacking out, how could you possibly handle stressful situations in hot crowded rooms as President?

4th -- why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?"

And 5th -- where's Kenneth?"

Beltway Crawl

A man on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's even moving." He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks, "Excuse me, Officer, what's the hold up?" The Officer replies, "President Obama was just implicated in another scandal and he's all depressed. He stopped his motorcade in the middle of the Beltway and he's threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says his family hates him and he doesn't have the $33.5 million he owes his lawyers. I'm walking around taking up a collection for him". "Oh really? How much have you collected so far?" "I've got a lot of folks still siphoning; but right now I have about three hundred gallons."

Obama Math

The Department of Defense briefed the President this morning.  They told President Obama that 2 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Afghanistan.  To everyone's surprise, he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken and almost in tears.

Finally, he composed himself and asked, "Just how many is a Brazilian?"

This isn't surprising since he obviously has no understanding of billion or trillion either.

Definition of Sex

Hillary and Chelsea were having a deep heart to heart talk about Chelsea's college experiences.

Hillary: So have you found dating to be fulfilling experience?

Chelsea: It's okay, but I don't like how the boys sometimes act like real sex hounds.

Hillary: Well, uh, have you, uh, actually had sex?

Chelsea: Well Mom, no, not IF you define sex the way Daddy does.