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The best jokes and joke writers!

7 Quickies!

1) On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep-and-cattle ranch outside Roswell, NM, an incident they say has been covered up by the military. On March 31, 1948, exactly nine months after that day, Al Gore was born. That clears up a lot of things.

2) What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

3) I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me -- they were cramming for their finals!

4) If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?

5) If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

6) I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

7) Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

AOC Radio

Ocasio-Cortez purchased an AM radio so she could listen to political talk shows.

It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.

 

AOC Sunshine

As part of her 'Green New Deal', Congresswoman Ocasio-Cortez recently suggested that we should be harvesting more energy from the sun.  She proposed a fleet of conventional rockets loaded with special solar batteries that would travel to the Sun and collect energy. Scientists challenged her plan suggesting that the ships would burn-up before they even got close!"  Ocasio-Cortez responded, "DUH . . . Not if you go at night!"

Obama On Halloween

Q: Why did Obama dress as a ghost for Halloween? 

A: He wanted to see what it was like to be white for a day!

AOC Beetle Experiment

During High School, AOC was left alone in a lab with a beetle. She examined it and decided to do an experiment. She pulled off one of it's legs, then asked it to run. The beetle obeyed her command. Then, she pulled off a second leg and asked it to run. It did, but with a lot of difficulty. Finally, she pulled the remaining legs off and asked it to run. It couldn't. "I have made a new discovery!" the AOC cried. "When you pull all of a beetle's legs off, it becomes deaf!!"