Q: What cat purrs more than any other?
Q: Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A: A different bar.
Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo.
After it wouldn't wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.
Parrot and Centipede
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A: A great walkie-talkie!
Cat and Coin
Q: How is a cat laying down like a coin?
A: Because he has his head on one side and his tail on the other!