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The best jokes and joke writers!

Ghost Bambi

Q: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?

A: Bamboo

Excuses

I'D LOVE TO BUT:

  • I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.
  • I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
  • I have to floss my pets.
  • I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.
  • I want to spend more time with my blender.
  • I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
  • I'm building a pig from a kit.
  • I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
  • I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
  • I'm getting my overalls overhauled.
  • .I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawal.
  • I'm staying home to work on my mottled yogurt sculptures.
  • I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
  • I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
  • I've got plans to go downtown to try on gloves.
  • It's my parakeet's bowling night.
  • My patent is pending.
  • The nice man on television told me to say tuned.

What a Guy

If sex with two other people is a threesome, and sex with three others is a foursome, then I guess that makes me handsome.

Art School

Q:  Why did the nurse go to art school?

A:  To learn how to draw blood!

47 Blues

Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.