Q: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
I'D LOVE TO BUT:
- I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.
- I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
- I have to floss my pets.
- I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.
- I want to spend more time with my blender.
- I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
- I'm building a pig from a kit.
- I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
- I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
- I'm getting my overalls overhauled.
- .I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawal.
- I'm staying home to work on my mottled yogurt sculptures.
- I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
- I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
- I've got plans to go downtown to try on gloves.
- It's my parakeet's bowling night.
- My patent is pending.
- The nice man on television told me to say tuned.
What a Guy
If sex with two other people is a threesome, and sex with three others is a foursome, then I guess that makes me handsome.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.
I met Denzel Washington once.
I kept yelling, "Hey, Denzel," and he kept saying, "I'm not Denzel, you fucking racist!" Oh man, classic Denzel.