We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Forest Nav

Q:  How do crazy people get through the forest?

A:  They take the psycho path.

Denzel

I met Denzel Washington once.

I kept yelling, "Hey, Denzel," and he kept saying, "I'm not Denzel, you fucking racist!" Oh man, classic Denzel.

Checking My Balance

I went to the bank the other day and asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me!

Air and Sex

Q: Why is air a lot like sex?

A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Famous Uses of the F Word

  • What the fuck was that? The Mayor of Hiroshima
  • Look at all these fucking Indians. General Custer
  • Full speed ahead and fuck the icebergs! Captain of the Titanic
  • That's not a fucking real gun. John Lennon
  • The fucking throttle's stuck. Donald Campbell
  • Who's going to fucking know? President Nixon
  • Heads are going to fucking roll. Henry VIII
  • Watch him, he'll have some fucker's eye out. King Harold
  • Scattered showers my fucking ass. Noah
  • Where the fuck have you been? Stanley to Livingston
  • Can you smell fucking gas? Captain of the Hindenburg
  • Fuck you Brutus! Julius Caeser