An elderly couple were flat broke. They didn’t have a single dime and all options were exhausted. They decided that she had to sell herself on the street, so she went out for a day of prostitution. That evening, she came back and put 20 dollars and 10 cents on the table.
Old Man: What the hell! Who paid 10 cents?
Old Lady: Everybody
Little Red's Granny
Little Red Riding Hood went to her grandma's house and found her laying in bed. Little Red Riding Hood said, "Grandma, what big eyes you have!'' Grandma replied ''the better to see you with, my dear.'' Little Red Riding Hood told her "Grandma, what big ears you have!'' Grandma replied "the better to hear you with, my dear.'' Little Red Riding Hood told her "Grandma, what a big mouth you have!'' Grandma replied ''of course I do, have you seen Grandpa's dick?!"
The Bar Exam
Once upon a time there was a 98-year old woman whose billionaire husband died. The woman had inherited all of her deceased husband's fortune and decided she would see if she could remarry herself a fine young man. So, she walked into a bar and announced to all the men that she had inherited billions of dollars and would marry the guy with the biggest dick. Now of course this woman wasn't all that in the looks department, as a matter of fact she looked more like a shriveled prune then a human being, however, the guys didn't care. They knew this old lady would croak soon and they would get all that money. The woman then told the men to stiff themselves up to full erection and lay their dicks on a long table. They did what she said. All of a sudden, two gay guys walked into the bar, looked at the table and said "Mmmm! A buffet!"
Q: What do you call a geriatric gynecologist?
A: A spreader of old wives' tales!
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered; "Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."