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The best jokes and joke writers!

Just A Memory

Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in Miami. They had been meeting in that park every sunny day, for over 12 years, chatting and enjoying each others friendship. One day, the younger of the two ladies, turns to the other and says, "Please don't be angry with me dear, but I am embarrassed. After all these years, what is your name? I am trying to remember, but I just can't. "The older friend stares at her, looking very distressed, says nothing for two full minutes, and finally with tearful eyes, says..."How soon do you have to know?"

Name Game

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I really recommend it." The other man said, "What's the name of the restaurant?" The first man knits his brow in obvious concentration and finally says to his companion, "Ah, what is the name of that red flower you give to someone you love?"
His friend replies, "A Carnation?" "No. No. The other one," the man says. His friend offers another suggestion, "The Poppy?"
"No," growls the man, "You know the one that is red and has thorns." His friend says, "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, yes that's it," the first man says. He then turns toward the kitchen and yells, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

Don't Forget!

An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?" He replied, "To the kitchen." She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" He replied, "Sure." She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He said, "No, I can remember that." She then said, "Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down 'cause I know you'll forget that." He said, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replied, "Well, I'd also like whipped cream on top. I know you'll forget that so you'd better write it down." With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down! I can remember that." He then went fuming into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said, "You forgot my toast."

Senior Couples Going Out

Two senior couples are walking along, wives in front, husbands in back. Herb says to Sam, "Gee, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Good prices too." Sam says, "Well, we like to eat out too. What was the name of the restaurant?" Herb says, "You'll going to have to help me out here a little. What's the name of that pretty flower, smells sweet, grows on a thorny bush?" Sam says, "How about rose?" "Yes, yes, that's it!" cries Herb, then calls ahead to his wife. "Rose. Hey, Rose. What was the name of the restaurant we ate at last night?"

Yo Mama - Black and White

Yo mama is so old that her memory is in black and white.