Advisor on Sexual Matters
The drinker announced to the bartender, "It seems I've been informally named advisor on 'Sexual Matters' at my company." "That sounds interesting. Does this mean you'll be counseling the big bosses on relations with their secretaries?" "I'm not sure yet," he answered. "During a staff meeting, I popped up to suggest a reduction in executive expense accounts and it was after that I was told if they ever wanted my fucking advice, they'd let me know."
A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this she can't stand it any longer! The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why. The supervisor is puzzled by this and says what's wrong with the co-worker telling you your hair smells nice? The woman replies, "He's a midget"!
One of the girls in the office where I work is going to be having a baby.
I just haven't decided which one yet.
Phone Sex Lines
There are thousands of sex phone lines for men but only a few for women. This is because if a women wants someone to talk dirty to her she can just go to work.
Not a Big Deal
A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife "Honey, I got a new secretary. And imagine what happened! She's got a red and white bra. You know, these are the colors of my favorite football team. Anyway, it's not a big deal but it feels good."
The next day, when the man got home his wife asks, "How was your day?"
The man says "Fantastic! It's not only her bra that is red and white but also her panties. You know it's not a big deal but it really feels good!"
The third day they meet at home after work, and now the man asks his wife, "And what happened today in your office, honey?"
She says, "Oh, nothing special, sweetheart. I got a new boss today. His dick is two inches longer than yours. You know it's not a big deal but, hell, it feels good!"