Enron Scandal Effects
Q: Why has the Enron scandal been so hard on ESL teachers?
A: Because they now have to explain to their students why "to LAY" is worse than "to F*CK"!
We had a safety meeting at work today.
They asked me "what steps would you take in event of a fire?
"Fucking big ones" was apparently not the right answer.
Hard Times at Work
It had taken him several months, but the executive vice president had finally persuaded his new secretary to bend over the back of his leather couch and allow him to have sex with her that way. "And just where have you been until this hour?" demanded his wife, when the wayward husband finally arrived home. "Down at the office," he replied, "working like a dog."
A Dent in the Pile!
An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site.
The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Irishman he says, "You're in charge of shovelling." To the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then says "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."
So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, but when he returns the pile of sand is untouched.
He says to the Italian: "Why didn't you sweep any of it!? "The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta broom, an' you tella me dat de Chinese'a guy supposa bringa da supplies, but he disappear and I no finda him."
Then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel. The Irishman replies in his heavy brogue, "Aye, ye did lad, but I counna get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinese guy in charge of supplies, but I counna fin' him."
The foreman is really angry now, and storms off toward the pile of sand looking for the Chinese guy. Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells... "Supplies!!"
Wife vs Job
Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After five years your job will still suck.