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The best jokes and joke writers!

Frog Defense

I took a day off from work to play golf. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, "Ribbit. 9-iron." That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a 9-iron and sunk a hole-in-one. Amazed, I picked up the frog and asked where we should go next. "Ribbit. Vegas." We went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. "Ribbit. Roulette." We went up to the roulette table, and I won big. I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. "Ribbit. Kiss me." I figured, what the hell, and I kissed the frog. It turned into a 15-year-old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, your Honor, and if I'm lying, my name's not R. Kelly.

Teenage Witch

Q: What did the teenage witch say to her mother?

A: Can I have the keys to the broom tonight?

Space Wizard

Q: What do you call a wizard from outer space?

A: A flying sorcerer!

Knock Knock - Ken

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Ken

Ken who?

Ken I come in, it's freezing out here?

Measure Up

I asked my partner if I was the only one she’s been with.

She said, “Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights.”

Chivalry Defined

Q: Why do men give cold women their jackets?

A: No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.