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The best jokes and joke writers!

Carrier Marines

Q: Why does the Navy have Marines on aircraft carriers?

A: Sheep are too obvious.

Top Chef

An Admiral visited one of the ships under his command. While eating breakfast with the crew he was impressed to see the Naval insignia stamped on every biscuit. He went to the Culinary Specialist to ask how this feat was done, and how to replicate it on other ships under his command. The CS replied, "I'd be glad to share that with you, Admiral. After each biscuit is cut, I just slap it here against my belt buckle which bears the Navy insignia." Horrified, the Admiral exclaims, "That's very unhygienic!"

The CS shrugged and replied, "Well, if that's the way you feel, Sir, I suggest you avoid the donuts."

Pushing It

Q: Why do so many Polish navy personnel drown?

A: Because when the engine stops, they all have to get out and push!

Battles On the Sea

The following is supposedly a true story relating to a United States shipping company. The U.S. shipping company had a new ship built. It was to be the pride of the fleet, and something special was wanted to decorate the captain's salon, a large living room/office where the vessel's business and entertaining would take place. Someone suggested that a set of nautical prints would lend a nice touch. He knew of a shop in London that specialized in such things, and the prints were ordered and hung in the salon. It was not until the trial run of the vessel, when both the builder's and the owner's representatives were aboard, that someone looked closely at the prints. Each was of an American ship being captured by, or surrendering to, a British warship during the War of 1812.

Navy Ships

You know why they put marines on navy ships?

So the sailors have someone to dance with.