Q: What does U.S.M.C. stand for?
A: Uncle Sam's Misguided Children.
Marine Time Off
Q: Why are Marines limited to three day passes?
A: Anymore days than that and they have to be totally re-trained.
U.S. Marines to Change Lightbulb
Q: How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb ?
A: 50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him.
Marines Do Their Job
During the Vietnam war, a Lieutenant asked a Marine why he was falling back during a really fierce battle. "Didn't you hear me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1 ?" The Marine replied, "I got my four Sir."
Old Habits Die Hard
Young Amanpreet never quite got over his miserable childhood as an orphan in the ghetto. When he turned 18, he joined the Marines, but old habits die hard. One night, the sergeant found him rummaging around in the garbage and eating out of the discarded cans and jars. "On your feet, Lizard Pecker," he bellowed. "You'll eat in the mess hall -- you're no better than the rest of us!"