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The best jokes and joke writers!

Chemistry Collection

  • Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. -- Mike Adams
  • Chemicals: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.
  • Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!
  • There is the joke about the homeopath who forgot to take his medicine and died of an overdose.

Q: How many physical chemists does it take to wash a beaker? A: None. That's what organic chemists are for!

  • It is disconcerting to reflect on the number of students we have flunked in chemistry for not knowing what we later found to be untrue. --quoted in Robert L. Weber, Science With a Smile (1992)
  • Physical Chemistry is research on everything for which the negative logaritm is linear with 1/T -- D.L. Bunker

Q: What weapon can you make from the Chemicals Potassium, Nickel and Iron? A: KNiFe. 

Real Chemistry Names


Gold J. of North Carolina

Silver J. of North Carolina

Argon C. of Guam

Florine J. of Tennessee

Clorine J. of Maryland

Benzena J. of South Carolina

Ethyl J. of Ohio

Ether J. of Tennessee

Methyl S. of Maine

Methane M. of Alabama


Q: What was the charge when NaCl got arrested?

A: A salt.

Ghosts Haunt Chemistry Faculties

Q: What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties?

A: Methylated Spirits!

O Little Melting Particle

O Little Melting Particle (to the tune of "O Little Town Of Bethlehem")

Para Dichloro Benzene how do you melt so well? The plateau of your cooling curve is really something swell. We think the heat of fusion of water is so nice Give up fourteen hundred cals per mole and what you get is ice.