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The best jokes and joke writers!

Laboratory Monkeys

Q: What do you call a blender full of laboratory monkeys?

A: Rhesus pieces.

O Humid Night Song

O Humid Night (Melody: "O Holy Night")

O Humid Night Anopheline mosquitoes Are circling you in the hope of a meal. She takes a bite, saliva from her mouthparts Drool parasites which you can't see or feel Your brain can get sick, You will have a coma After the rage and the headaches have passed You're veggie soup, home to protozoa, Mosquito lands, time to go home at last.. Fall on your knees, Pale, burning with fever Plasmodia Are in your blood, were in your spleen Malaria There's no real cure, just in your dreams... 

Away in a Test Tube

Away in a Test Tube (Melody: "Away in a Manger")

Away in a test tube My plague cultures grow On nutrient agar Mankind's greatest foe It's easy to grow them If one does it right At thirty-five Celsius All day and all night Once they are ready You can let them go To sicken the masses With pus-filled buboes.

More Precious

You are more precious than dilithium crystals.

Donate to Science

When you die, you should have your brain donated to science. I hear they're trying to come up with the perfect vacuum.