Q: How do you tell the difference between male chromosomes and female chromosomes?
A: Pull down their genes!
Q: Why did the college student fail his marine biology class?
A: His grade was below C level.
Guide To Science
Handy guide to modern science: If it's green or wriggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
Replacing Lab Rats with Lawyers
The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the American Bar Association was outraged and filed suit. Yet, the NIH presented some very good reasons for the switch.
- The lab assistants were becoming very attached to their little rats. This emotional involvement was interfering with the research being conducted. No such attachment could form for a lawyer.
- Lawyers breed faster and are in much greater supply.
- Lawyers are much cheaper to care for and the humanitarian societies won't jump all over you no matter what you're studying.
- There are some things even a rat won't do.
Lawyers for Experiments
Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats?
A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.