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The best jokes and joke writers!

Why Ask Why - 2

  • Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
  • Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
  • Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
  • Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
  • Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
  • You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
  • Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
  • You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
  • Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

Why Ask Why - 3

  • When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
  • If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
  • Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
  • Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?
  • Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
  • Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
  • Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
  • Why does one get in trouble for wreckLESS driving?
  • Does a fish get cramps after eating?
  • Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Pondering Collection Continued

  • I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes froze the end of my nose.
  • The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  • Why is the word big so little and the word little so big?
  • Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
  • Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
  • Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
  • How do I set my laser printer on stun?
  • How is it possible to have a civil war?
  • If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
  • If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Media Ads

Why is it when you turn on the TV you see ads for telephone companies, and when you turn on the radio you hear ads for TV shows, and when you get put on the phone you hear a radio station?

Did You Ever Wonder?

  • Can you cry under water?
  • How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
  • If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
  • Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
  • Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?
  • Where's that extra penny going to?
  • Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
  • Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
  • What did cured ham actually have?
  • How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
  • Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
  • If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
  • If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
  • Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?
  • Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
  • How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
  • Why do doctors leave the room while you change?        They're going to see you naked anyway.
  • If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
  • Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?