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The best jokes and joke writers!

Far East

Mueller is traveling with his wife and mother-in-law in a far east country. At a place of honor his mother-in-law makes a careless remark, which the native people take as an insult to the royal family. Mueller is dragged off to court with his wife and mother-in-law and are sentenced to corporal punishment. Each of them are to recieve 50 lashes on the rear end with a cane. But because the royal family doesn't want to appear hostile to foreigners, they grant the guests in their country a wish beforehand, as long as it is able to be fulfilled. Mrs. Mueller is first. "What do you wish for yourself?"

"I would like a pillow bound on my rear end before the lashings."

"Okay, that shall be granted to you." Mrs. Mueller has the pillow bound to her rear end and receives her punishment. But because the pillow is too small and the executioner also hits her back a couple of times, she receives a few blows.

Next it is Mueller's mother-in-law's turn. "What do you wish for yourself?"

"I would like a pillow bound on my rear end and a pillow bound on my back before the lashings."

"Okay, that shall be granted to you." The mother-in-law receives her fifty lashes, but hardly feels the pain through the pillows.

Then comes Mueller himself. "What do you wish for yourself?"

"I have two wishes. Do you want to fulfill them for me?"

"Because you are a guest in our country, we want to fulfill your wishes for you, as long as they are reasonable."

"I would like 100 lashes instead of 50."

The executioner is surprised, but recovers again right away and replies, "Yes, that is a pious wish, it shall be granted to you. And what is your second wish?"

"I would like to have my mother-in-law bound to my back."

Making Men Fear Marriage

The British had an organization that Americans are now considering adopting. In England, they had a men's club, named Bachelors Anonymous. It was highly successful in making men fear, or even hate, marriage. The club provided a unique way to treat the problem of bachelors wanting to marry. They send over a mother-in-law in her nightgown, hair curlers, and a mud pack.

Insulted

When the husband came home from his job, he found his wife crying. "Your mother insulted me, very much." she sobbed. "My mother? How could she do that when she's on a vacation on the other side of the world?" "I know. But this morning, a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it, because I was curious." "And?" "At the end of the letter, it was written: P.S. Dear Catherine, when you've read this letter, don't forget to give it to my son."

In-Law Visit

"Oh, I sure am glad to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother (on his mother's side). "Now Daddy will do the trick he's been promising us." The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?" she asked. "He told Mommy that he'd climb the walls if you came to visit," answered the boy.

Mother In Law Misses Train

A mother-in-law visits her son-in-law before leaving for a trip. They are sipping coffee and chatting. Suddenly, mother-in-law looks at the clock and jumps off her chair exclaiming, "My god! It's already 3 P.M. I'm about to miss my train!" She begins to put her coat on in a hurry. At this moment, the son-in-law's daughter runs up to her and before he can do anything and announces, "Don't hurry, granny! Daddy moved the clock two hours ahead!"