Vultures and Mothers In Law
Q: What is the difference between a vulture and your mother-in-law?
A: Vultures wait until your dead to pick on you.
Depressed Over Mother In Law
Why Steve, you're so depressed today, what's the matter? Ah, well, I have had a quarrel with my mother-in-law. She swore to me she wouldn't talk to me for a month!! Then what is so bad about it? You should celebrate the event!! No, no, see...that was four weeks ago, and today is the last day!
French Impressionist Painting
My mother-in-law is like a fine French Impressionist painting. She's very lovely, but is best appreciated at a distance.
Redneck Taking Out the Trash
You're a redneck if you hear the phrase "Take out the trash" and shoot your mother-in-law.
I used to not get on with my mother-in-law, but over the last few months I've developed quite an attachment for her. It goes over her head and a strap comes down under her chin to keep her mouth shut!