Bucket of Crap and Mother-in-law
Q: What's the difference between a bucket of crap and a mother-in-law?
A: The bucket!
Two friends meet each other on the street. "Hello! Where are you coming from?" asked Bill. "Oh, don't ask me! I'm coming from the cemetery. I just buried my mother-in-law" replied Sid. "I'm so sorry!" said Bill, "But why is your face scratched all over?" "It wasn't so easy!" said Sid, "She put up a hell of a fight!"
Do You Like the Food?
Sign seen in a small restaurant: Thanks for visiting. If you liked the food, send your friends. Otherwise, send your mother-in-law.
The Sweet Kiss
There was a couple involved in a very bad car accident. The wife's face was badly burned. The doctors said they could take the burnt skin and replace it with extra skin. The woman's husband gladly allowed the doctors to use some skin from his behind. The woman healed beautifully and ask her husband if there was anything she could do for him for being so nice to donate his skin. And the husband replied, "no need...I get all the satisfaction I could ever want each time your mother kisses you on the cheek!"
Safari With the Family
A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in- law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."