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The best jokes and joke writers!

Daughter's Eighteenth Birthday

I'm so glad that this is my last child support payment. Month after month, year after year, those payments! So I called my baby girl, Kareesha, to come over to my house, and when she got there, I said to her, "Baby girl, I want you to take this last check over to your mother's house and tell her that this is the last check she's ever going to get from me, and I want you to come back and tell me the expression that's on her face." So my baby girl took the check over to her. I was really anxious to hear what she had to say and what she looked like.. As my baby girl walked through the door, I said, "Now what did she have to say?" "She told me to tell you that you ain't my daddy, and to watch the expression on your face."

Chores

My daughter was whining about her chores. She asked if she needed to vacuum the whole apartment. I said, "No, just do the floor."

Redneck Girl and Dad

Q: What did the redneck girl say when she woke up with her dad on top of her?

A: "Watch it Pa or you'll crush my smokes!"

 

Doctor In The House?

A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in the house?!" Several men stood up as the lights came on. An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her, "Good, are any of you doctors single and interested in a date with a good, Jewish girl?"

Father to Blonde Daughter

Q: What did the father say to his blonde daughter?

A: ''If you're not in bed by 11, come home.''