Their True Intention
One morning a little girl ran inside and said "Daddy, Daddy my sister and the man you hired last week are up on the hay loft in the barn on all that new hay we just bought. She has her dress up and he has his pants down. I think they are about to piss all over that new hay!"
Watch What You Say!
My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to our six- year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" I wouldn't know what to say," she replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," my wife instructed. Our daughter bowed her head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner"!
Meaning Of Names
A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, "Mummy, why is my name Petal?" The mother replied, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head." The next baby walked up and asked, "Mummy why is my name Rose?" she replied, "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head." The last baby walked up to her and said, "BLAS CLAFLAS YIFRASSAM TASSM POONNFFFIINRTY." The mother replied, "Please be quiet, Refrigerator."
Meet the Father
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
I Didn't Even Know!
Three drunks were sitting at a bar. The first one said, "I went in my daughter's room, looked in the drawer and found a pack of cigarettes." He paused, "I didn't even know she smoked!"
The second drunk said, "I can beat that! I went into my daughters room, looked in the closet and found a case of beer. I didn't even know she drank!"
The first two looked at the third as he begin to speak.."I can beat that! I went into my daughter's room and looked under her pillow. I found a pack of condoms!!!" He paused, "I didn't even know she had a penis!!!"