Man Eating Lion
Q: What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother's sister?
A: An aunt-eater!
Q: Why were all the baby ants confused?
A: Because all their Uncles were Ants (Aunts)
Blonde Weighs Baby
At a pharmacy, a blonde asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms. The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first. "That won't work," countered the woman. "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt."
Q: What do you call an angry French relative?
A: A croissant.
Turn up the Heat
Q: How do you make antifreeze?
A: You steal her blanket.