Polack Meets Priest
A Polack saw a priest walking down the street. Noticing his collar, he stopped him and said, "Excuse me, but why are you wearing your shirt backwards?" The priest laughed, "Because, my son, I am a Father!" The Polack scratched his head. "But I am a father too, and I don't wear my shirt backwards!" Again the priest laughed. "But I am a Father of thousands!" To which the Polack replied, "Well then you should wear your shorts backwards!"
Polish Plane Landing
Polish Air Lines flight 113 was descending for a landing at an airport they had never been to before. The pilot looked out the windshield and suddenly exclaimed to the copilot, "Holy cow! Look how short the runway is! I've never seen one that short!" The copilot looked out the windshield. "Wow! you`re right! That`s incredible! Are you sure we can make it?" "Well we better, we 're almost out of fuel." So the captain got on the intercom and notified the passengers to put their heads between their knees and prepare for an emergency landing. Then he set the flaps to full down and slowed the plane to just over stall speed. The big jumbo jet came screaming in, on the ragged edge of control. The pilot`s hands were sweating, the copilot was praying. They touched down and came screeching to a halt JUST before the edge of the runway, the tires smoking. "WHEW! That was CLOSE!" yelled the captain. "That runway was SHORT!" "Yeah!" said the copilot, "and WIDE too!"
Polack Drinking Buddies
Chanowski and his other Polack drinking buddy are sitting at a bar.
" See those guys over there?" Chanowski says." I'm going over there and ask them what they think of Polacks."
Chanowki walks up to the two guys sitting at the other end of the bar and asks them what they think of Polacks. One of the men gives Chanowski the finger. The middle finger. Chanowski then walks back to his drinking buddy.
"Well, what do they think of Polacks?" his buddy asks.
"We're still number one."
Coat Hangers Work
Q: Did you hear about the Polish guy that locked his keys in his car?
A: Took him an hour using a coat hanger to get his family out.
Polish Parachute Lessons
A Polack wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons. The instructor told the Polack to jump out of the plane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. The Polack understood and was ready. The time came to have the Polack jump from the air plane. The instructor reminded the Polack that he would be right behind him. The Polack proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the air for a few seconds pulled the rip cord. The instructor followed by jumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his rip cord but the parachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute open, darted past the Polack. The Polack seeing this yelled, as he undid the straps to his parachute, "So you wanna race, eh?"