How can you tell if an Irishman is present at a cock fight? He enters a duck. How can you tell if a Pole is present? He bets money on the duck. How can you tell if an Italian is present? The duck wins.
Polacks Crossing A River
Two Polacks are walking down opposite sides of a river when they notice each other. One invites the other one over. "I can't swim," he replies. "Why don't you come over here?" The other guy says, "I can't swim, either. What are we gonna do?" First guy says, "Wait! I got a flashlight. I'll turn it on, and you walk across the beam to this side." The second guy replies, "No way! I'll get half-way across, and you'll turn the flashlight off!"
No Ice Cubes in Poland
Q: Do you know why there aren't any ice cubes in Poland?
A: The inventor died and took the recipe with him!
Q: What did the whitefish say in conversation with each other?
A: Nothing that made any sense, as they were both "talking pollocks!"
The Polish Parachute
Q: Have you heard about the latest Polish parachute?
A: It opens on impact.