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The best jokes and joke writers!

Saddam And Fred

Q: What does Saddam Hussein have in common with Fred Flinstone?

A: They both can look out of their window and see rubble!

Gulf War Remembered!

Q: What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common?

A: Nothing, yet.

 

Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?

A: Turkey.

 

Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common?

A: They both have Kurds in their Whey.

 

Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?

A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from!

 

Q: What is the best Iraqi job?

A: Foreign Ambassador

 

Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. They can't turn them on anyway.

 

Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting, and at a cost of US $8,000,000.

 

Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."

 

Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?

A: You only have to teach them to take off.

 

Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo ?

A: B-52... F-16... A-10

 

Q: What is Iraq's national bird?

A: Duck

 

Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile?

A: Aeroflot has killed more people.

 

Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone?

A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

 

Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?

A: So they can see their Air Force.

 

Q: Did you hear that Saddam Hussein won the toss?

A: He elected to receive.

 

Q: Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper?

A: They need a map...

 

Iraqi Pilots

Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?

A: You only have to teach them to take off!

Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton

Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, "Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner." "What did it say on the banners?" Clinton asks. Saddam replies, "Allah is god, god is Allah."

Clinton says, "You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more beautiful than ever.  It had been rebuilt completely and on each house flew an enormous banner."  "What could you see on the banners?" Saddam asks. Clinton replies, "I don't know. I can't read Hebrew."

Iraqi and American Soldier Injured

A squad of American soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, when they came across a badly mangled dead body. As they got closer, they found it was an Iraqi soldier. A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, struggling to breathe. They ran to him, cradled his bruised head and asked him what had happened. "Well," he whispered, "I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth when I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, 'Saddam Hussein is a moronic, deceitful, lying piece of trash!'" "He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, 'George W. Bush is a moronic, deceitful, lying piece of trash too!'" "We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us."