Q: What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon?
A: "Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"
Blockbuster Video Lessons
There was a guy who worked for Blockbuster video. He found it to be a great but complicated job. One day he was at the register and a older man came in and asked if he could buy a phone card. So the guy gave him a card, and he wrote him a check for $39.80. He then told him that it was 20 cents short, so he gave him 2 dimes. Unfortunately, when he typed this into the computer, he missed the period on the keyboard and it came up as 20 dollars. That night, the manager said that he was $19.80 short. The manager thought the guy had stolen it, so he fired him immediately. And the moral to this story is: "Guys get in trouble over missed periods."
Yo Mama - Mattress Use
Yo' Mama is so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxipad.